


Sparkles and Sugar Plums

by lls_mutant



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-06
Updated: 2010-04-06
Packaged: 2017-10-08 18:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/78161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lls_mutant/pseuds/lls_mutant





	Sparkles and Sugar Plums

  
"You want me to _what?_" Sirius demanded, gaping at Andromeda.

"Take Nymphadora to see the Nutcracker Ballet," Andromeda responded, waving her wand idly. Robe after robe folded themselves neatly, stacking into a perfect pile.

"That's disgusting," Sirius said.

"Not really. It's a charming story, Sirius. And the Wizarding Ballet Company is top-notch. You would enjoy it."

"No, I mean _that's_ disgusting," Sirius said, gesturing to the folding robes.

"Says the man who had to hide the dirty pants he'd left on the sofa last time I visited. Stop changing the subject. Take Nymphadora to the ballet."

"Why aren't you doing it? Isn't this a mother-daughter… thing?"

"No particular reason," Andromeda lied lightly.

"You'd better tell me, or there's no way I'll say yes."

Andromeda sighed. "Don't you remember who the prima ballerina, the crème de la crème, the up and coming star of the ballet company is?"

Sirius's blank look was his dignified response.

"Look, I can't trust myself not to hex my sister as she tiptoes across the stage, and that is most definitely _not_ allowed. And not exactly the example I want to be setting for Nymphadora."

"And you think I'll be any better? What's wrong with having Ted do it?"

"There are not enough sexual favors in the world to make Ted sit through a ballet."

"It's not like you're giving sexual favors to me," Sirius pointed out. "We're not that kind of Blacks."

"No. But I was thinking you could bring a friend. A date. It would be the perfect opportunity to impress her. A loving uncle, taking his adorable niece to the ballet, sensitive and kind…"

"Andromeda, this _is_ me we're talking about."

"Exactly. Highlight your best traits. Come on, Sirius. What do you say?"

Sirius thought about what his date's reaction was likely to be and was about to hex Andromeda into next week, when he saw a pair of big blue eyes peeping over the couch, pleading and sad. "Oh, bugger it," he sighed, his heart melting even if he wouldn't admit it. "I'll do it."

***

"You got us tickets to _what_?" Remus demanded, the dish towel dangling limply from his hands.

"The ballet," Sirius said, scrubbing at a pot. "You know, it's supposed to be quite good."

"Are you off your head? For one, these aren't safe times!"

"The prima ballerina is a Death Eater, I'm sure of it. I seriously doubt the place is going to be attacked," Sirius scoffed.

"Oh, great. Death Eaters in tutus. And in the audience. And we, known supporters of Dumbledore, are just going to waltz right in, sit down, munch on popcorn, and watch a ballet?"

"Well, we'll have to disguise ourselves a bit. And I don't think popcorn is really allowed."

"No popcorn, and you expect me to say yes?"

"And the Death Eaters aren't going to be thinking of us then. They're going to be focused on their ickle sticky-fingered brats, watching them with the wide-eyed wonder of Christmas. No one will notice us."

"All right. So we don our gay apparel -- figuratively speaking -- and take the sprog. Which actually brings me to my second point. How big a ponce do you think I am that I would want to go to the _ballet_?"

"That's actually what I'm relying on for you to say yes."

"Sirius!"

"Well, not that you _want_ to go. But that I can bribe you with sexual favors."

"Oh." Remus considered this. "What kind of sexual favors?"

Sirius knew the battle was won.

***

"I thought you were bringing a date," was the first thing Andromeda said as she ushered them into her parlour.

"What, no comment about my moustache?" Sirius asked. "I Charmed it special."

"You look like you belong in a Muggle porn film," Ted opined from inside, behind Andromeda.

"Oh, shut up. You'll be home, safe, probably getting laid, and I'll be oohing and ahhing over sparkles and spangly things as my cousin spins with her arms above her head and I have to keep from hexing her. I _don't_ want to talk to you right now."

Remus cleared his throat.

"Oh, right. Andromeda, Ted, you remember my friend Remus."

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "Sirius, you're never going to get a girlfriend if you don't go out without your friends upon occasion."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but Ted jumped in. "He's not going to get a girlfriend in these dangerous times anyway. It's hard to meet someone when you're really not sure if she wants to kiss you or kill you."

"And besides," Sirius said glibly, "you have no _idea_ what I had to promise to get him to come along."

"I'll contribute a bottle to your cause," Ted promised solemnly. Remus snorted, and Sirius gave them both a grin that didn't completely hide his nervousness. Tonight was going to be either really wonderful (if he listened to Remus) or one huge mess, and that promised bottle might help it be the former.

"NYMPHADORA!" Andromeda shouted, and Sirius had never been more grateful to his cousin for changing the subject. "Sirius is here!"

There was a pounding of feet, and then a small girl appeared. She was dressed in a bright pink robe with sparkles and frills, and her hair was blonde streaked with red and green. She stopped suddenly, clinging to her mother's hand, watching Sirius and Remus with wide, wary eyes.

"Hi, Nymphadora," Sirius said, cursing his cousin for her taste in nomenclature.

"You look funny," Nymphadora declared.

"Like it?" Sirius had Charmed on a blond mustache and changed his hair color for the event. Remus had gone red hair and freckles, which Sirius had to admit actually looked good on him. "I did it just for you."

"It looks funny," Nymphadora repeated. "Like you sneezed and the snot got stuck beneath your nose."

Remus snorted with laughter.

"Shut up, Lupin," Sirius growled. "Do you have the tickets?"

Andromeda looked at him in confusion. "I thought you were going to get them."

"No, I didn't. You said --"

"I asked you to take Nymphadora to the ballet. You didn't think it was free, did you?"

Sirius growled deep in his throat, but Andromeda's face just split into something of an evil grin. "I'm just pulling your leg, Sirius. Here they are." She sketched her wand in the air, and the tickets materialized -- big pink sheets of parchment with sparkles and fluffy things that would undoubtedly cost Sirius another sexual favor just for being so… fluffy.

"Thanks," he muttered.

Ted was buttoning up Nymphadora's cloak. "Have a good time," he told them.

The look on Sirius's face as he stepped into the fireplace was answer enough.

***

He did calm down as they Flooed to the stop nearest to the theater and then stepped out into the cold winter air. Nymphadora clung to Sirius's hand as they walked down the street, and Remus walked on his other side, his arm brushing casually against Sirius's. For a moment, the desire just to slip his arm around Remus's waist was overwhelming, but Sirius knew this was not the time or place. He sighed.

"All right?" Remus asked him.

"Of course. It's a nice day, I'm with you, and we're taking a gorgeous girl to see the ballet." Sirius bestowed his best smile on his little cousin, and Nymphadora beamed back up at him. "How could life get any better?"

"With hot chocolate?" Nymphadora suggested.

Remus smiled. "That's the best idea I've heard all day."

"All right," Sirius declared. "If you both are good and behave during the ballet, we'll go for hot chocolate and ice cream after."

"You can't have ice cream in winter," Nymphadora told him.

"Yes you can," Sirius and Remus answered in unison. They looked at each other and laughed, and as Remus's eyes met his, Sirius felt that familiar warm thrill as if he'd just drank down a mug of rich hot chocolate. "Come on," he said, placing a hand on Remus's shoulder. "We're almost there."

***

The theater wasn't crowded, but there was still a good turnout given the times. Sirius wondered if attendance here could be taken as a sign of support for- or worse yet, confession of- Death Eater activity, but he hoped things weren't quite that bad yet.

Of course, he was out with this ludicrous mustache, and Remus was wearing _horn rimmed glasses_, for Merlin's sake.

A wizard in lurid red and white striped robes took their tickets and gave them programmes, and the three of them walked into the theater. When Sirius heard Nymphadora's gasp of astonishment, the sentimental part of him whispered that the whole thing was already worth it.

The seats were red velvet, charmed to be warm, and exceptionally plush and comfortable. Sirius appreciated that touch, as well as the golden gargoyles that were companionably talking to guests sitting near the pillars they adorned. There was the usual cacophony as the orchestra warmed up. But what had caught Nymphadora's eye was the stage. Thousands of tiny, glittering fairies were hovering, forming a sheer curtain of light.

Witches and wizards milled about. Sirius had rather expected them all to be in ornate dress robes, and some were. But many wore robes that were not nearly so fancy, and Sirius's fears about sticking out began to fade. He settled into his seat, between Remus and Nymphadora.

Nymphadora was twisting about, looking around her with wide-eyed awe. Sirius smiled, and then turned to Remus who looked far less impressed and far more ill-at-ease.

"Well?" he asked.

"Sirius, do you have any idea how many people here are suspected of being De -- erm, Gingerbread Men?"

"Sirius, look! Aren't those garlands pretty? I think they're real candy canes!"

"I mean, there's Walden Macnair, and there's Xavier Nott --"

"Sirius, do you see? Do you see? That man has a _tuba_! I like the tubas."

"And Alecto Carrow. Oh Merlin, she actually reproduced?"

"Sirius! Look! That gingerbread man is actually _walking!_"

"Sirius! Look! That's got to be Lucius Malfoy! What is he doing here?"

Sirius took one long, deep, breath and then another. "Remus, shut up. If the Gingerbread Men were going to eat us, they would have done so by now. Lucius Malfoy is here because he's married to the prima ballerina. I guess he likes bendy women. Nymphadora, yes, that gingerbread man is actually walking, but if you don't sit down and stop standing on the seat I'm sure he's going to come over here and tell us to leave. Both of you, behave."

Much to his surprise, they did. Remus shot him an apologetic glance, and Nymphadora settled down neatly into her chair. "Is it going to start soon?"

Mercifully, it did. The orchestra began to play a long tuning note, and then the goblin conductor tapped his wand. The audience fell silent, and the fairy curtain parted, and the show began.

Sirius was frankly amazed that the Wizarding Ballet Company was so large. That was his last coherent thought, because not only were there twenty dancers on stage, they were all dancing _well_, and it was positively mesmerizing.

Or at least, it was, until Clara (also known as Narcissa Malfoy) danced onto the stage, and Sirius felt his blood boil rather pleasantly. Homicidal hatred probably wasn't included in the Christmas spirit, but it was fun.

He was imagining sending the Jelly Legs curse at Narcissa during a particularly graceful leap when it happened. Next to him, Nymphadora sighed. "She's so pretty," she whispered. And when Sirius turned to look, Nymphadora's hair was blonde.

"Um, Nymphadora, she's not pretty," Sirius corrected her. "She's a heinous, terrible, evil she-bitch."

"Sirius!" Remus hissed.

"What?"

"All bitches are female. Don't teach the poor kid the wrong definition of the word."

"Sorry. She's a heinous, terrible, evil bitch."

"Okay," Nymphadora agreed. "But she's still pretty." With that, the child turned back to the stage, watching with shining eyes.

"How is he doing that?" Nymphadora whispered excitedly, when the wizard dancing the part of Drosselmeyer enchanted two dolls to begin dancing. "They're really dancing!"

"It's a Charm," Sirius whispered back as Remus cast a subtle _Muffilato_ to make sure Nymphadora's voice stayed at a whisper. "Two, actually -- a Locomotor Charm and Wingardium Leviosa. Neither of them are that hard normally, but I imagine it must be much more difficult when you're trying to dance yourself."

"Oh."

Sirius glanced over at Remus to see if he was amazed at this brilliant bit of deduction. Remus _was_ watching him and looked vaguely impressed, but he was leaning his head against his hand, slouched in his chair, and his eyelids were heavy. Sirius scrunched his nose at him in irritation and turned back to the stage.

It was about the time when Clara was coming down to the tree that he heard the first snore.

He kicked Remus in the shin.

"What? I'm awake."

"You're snoring," Sirius hissed.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Remus! I've lived with you for nine years! I know your snores!"

"So?" Remus glanced up at the stage. "I know the story. This part always bored me."

"How do you know the story?" Sirius asked, suspiciously.

"My mother. I wasn't snoring," Remus dodged.

"You were too. And you're not going to again."

"Huh?"

Sirius glanced around to make sure their whispers were not attracting too much attention- and that Nymphadora wasn't listening. Fortunately, most of the audience, and especially his young cousin, were enraptured by the performance. Still, Sirius lowered his voice. "If I am going to do _that_ \--"

"That?"

"_That._"

"Oh. _That._ Sirius, I told you if you really don't want to you don't --"

"I'm willing to try it. But if I'm going to do _that_, you have to actually be here, in more than just body."

"But --"

"Remus, I didn't ask you along because I wanted company," Sirius whispered. He didn't have to say the rest: _I wanted_ your_ company._ He saw the comprehension in Remus's eyes. Comprehension, and something else.

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered.

Sirius touched Remus's ankle with his foot. "S'alright. Just watch the show, will you?"

Remus nodded and turned back to the stage. Sirius glanced around one more time, and then laid his hand next to Remus's so their fingers were touching, and draped his pinky over Remus's thumb.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus smile.

***

"Are you enjoying it, Nymphadora?" Sirius asked his charge at the intermission.

"It's wonderful!" Nymphadora exclaimed excitedly. "Did you see how they made the Christmas tree and the presents get bigger and bigger? And the bear? I liked the bear! And the costumes that the girls were wearing?"

"Wait until the next act," Remus said. "There will be dancing snowflakes. All white lace and sparkles."

If possible, Nymphadora's eyes lit up even more, and Sirius smiled at Remus gratefully. Remus smiled back.

"It's not over, right?" Nymphadora asked.

"No. It's just intermission. It's a break."

"Good. I have to go to the bathroom."

"Oh. Well, we'll go find the Ladies' for you," Remus said.

"No. I'm not sending her into the Ladies' herself," Sirius said. "Not with all these… Gingerbread Men around."

Remus glanced around resignedly. "But Sirius, she's a girl."

Sirius bonked him on the head with his rolled up program. "She's also a metamorph, dingbat."

"Oh. Right. But is she allowed to do that in public?"

"Why not?" Sirius asked, not caring one way or the other.

Sirius led Nymphadora by the hand to the bathroom. Getting her in was absolutely no problem at all, especially after she shortened her hair and draped her cloak over her very pink robe. The hard part was that Sirius had entirely forgotten about urinals. When he ushered Nymphadora in, they were immediately met with the sight of several men and boys standing against the wall.

"What are they doing?" Nymphadora asked loudly.

"They're taking a piss," Sirius explained, wishing he wasn't quite such a believer in honesty.

"Can I do it like that?"

"I doubt it."

"Why not?"

This idea was seeming worse and worse, especially as several men turned to watch them. Sirius suspected saying "you don't have the right equipment" was going to create a little more of a disturbance than he was comfortable with.

"You need to use a stall," he said, pushing Nymphadora to a vacant one. "Okay?"

Fortunately, necessity won out over curiosity, and Nymphadora obeyed. One of the men stepped away from the wall, and Sirius figured while Nymphadora was occupied, it might not be a bad idea to relieve himself.

He was almost done when he heard a voice at his elbow say, "Wow! Cool! You can really piss far, Sirius! I can't do it like that!"

He'd never finished and washed his hands so fast.

They returned to their seats, Nymphadora much relieved and Sirius completely traumatized from the experience. Remus was waiting for them impatiently, looking extremely worried.

"We still have five minutes," Sirius said.

"Yes, but I've had company."

"Oh?"

Remus handed him a piece of paper, decorated with snowflakes, stars, and snowmen. "_Help Stop the Pollution of Our World_" the title blared. In slightly smaller font beneath it, it pleaded, "_Think of Your Children!_" It was a flyer for a Malfoy-sponsored party with a five Galleon admission.

"Death- er, Gingerbread Men really do have propaganda and fundraisers, huh?" Sirius snorted, scanning the rest of it. He wasn't sure why he was remotely surprised (maybe the relatively low cost of entry?), but it certainly took away from any childlike enchantment he might be feeling. He folded the paper and slipped it into his robe pocket. "We'll show Prongs."

Remus nodded. "And Alb – ah --"

"Yeah, him."

"Shh!" Nymphadora scolded them. "It's starting again!"

Sirius had thought that the pamphlet Remus had given him would hang over him for the remainder of the performance, but he was wrong. The snowflakes had been wonderful as advertised, but they were nothing compared to the dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy and the ensuing dances. Sirius watched, unaware that he was smiling until his cheeks began to hurt.

Finally, the ballet ended. He and Nymphadora applauded enthusiastically, but Remus was still. "You'd better not have fallen asleep again, you bastard," he began, but his voice trailed off before he could get the last word all the way out.

Remus was crying.

Not in any obvious way. No big tears or handkerchiefs, and no sobs or bawling. Just a wet shine to his eyes, and one little sniffle. It was the sniffle that melted Sirius's heart completely.

Maybe going to the ballet had been a good idea after all.

***

"I liked the Sugar Plum Fairy," Nymphadora was saying as they sat in a Muggle shop (in suitably Transfigured robes) drinking hot chocolate and eating large ice creams. "And the bear. I really liked the bear. What was your favorite part, Sirius?"

"The Russian Dance," Sirius said immediately. Sirius was fairly certain he was nursing a new crush on one of the danseurs in the Russian Dance, which was distinctly embarrassing. But high jumps, splits, and tight tights were… well, for crying out loud, he was _gay_, damn it! "Although I liked The Arabian Dance, too. What about you, Remus?"

"The Mouse King was impressive," Remus admitted. "Did you catch how they did the seven heads, Sirius?"

"Definitely some Transfiguration and some Charms. But I think there was some simple clever painting going on as well," Sirius mused. "I would have liked more time to study it, but I'm pretty sure that the danseur actually elongated his own neck."

"I thought so, too. Although I can't believe Clara killed him with a shoe."

"It was a slipper."

"Whatever. Who thought of that idea? A slipper?"

"Would it work?" Nymphadora asked, poking at a marshmallow.

Sirius tried to imagine Voldemort being taken out by one of Dumbledore's slippers and almost giggled. "It might be worth a shot," he admitted. "So do you still think Clara was pretty?"

"No," Nymphadora parroted. "She's a heinous, terrible, evil bitch."

"Good girl," Sirius and Remus said in unison.

***

It was dark when they made their way down the street towards the Tonks residence. Nymphadora and Sirius were dancing.

"Pirouette!" he shouted, picking her up and swinging her around as Nymphadora squealed in delight.

"That's not a pirouette," Remus said dryly.

"Sure it is."

"No it isn't."

"Then what is?" Sirius asked.

"It's a spin," Remus said.

"That's what we did," Nymphadora said.

"No, it's on one foot. And alone."

A little light came on in Sirius's brain. "No, I'm pretty sure we did it right. Let me show you again." He swung Nymphadora around again.

"No, you -- that's not it."

"Show us how to do a pirouette then."

"Yeah, show us," Nymphadora begged.

"Come on, Moony. Please?"

"Please?"

"Use the blue eyes," Sirius told her. "The really big ones."

"Oh, come on!" Remus protested as Nymphadora gave him her best pleading look. "That's not fair!"

"Please?" she repeated.

Remus sighed. "All right." He stopped, looked around to make sure no one was coming, and then did an extremely passable pirouette.

Sirius whooped. "I _knew_ it! Your mother made you take ballet, didn't she?"

Remus stuffed his hands in his pocket. "Yeah. Something like that."

"I want to take ballet," Nymphadora declared. "I want to be a heinous, terrible, evil bitch like the lady who danced Clara."

"_You_ can explain that one to Andromeda and Ted," Remus laughed.

***

"Well," Sirius said after they'd dropped Nymphadora off. "Was it really so bad?" Remus shrugged, but Sirius could see the smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Come on, Moony."

"It wasn't bad at all."

"So. Your mother made you take ballet, huh? And you kept it secret from us for nine years?"

Remus shrugged again, but this time the smile was gone. Sirius's stomach twisted a little- he'd said the wrong thing somehow. "Remus?"

"She didn't make me," Remus said quietly. "I wanted to. She took me to see The Nutcracker when I was little, and I loved it and wanted to dance. I took it for a year before I was bitten. I tried to keep going with it, and tried after we moved once to pick it up again, but it was just too hard to do. I was too tired and missed too much of it."

"Oh. _Oh,_ Remus, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have asked you to come if I'd known."

Remus shook his head. "No, don't. It's all right. After all, do you really think I spent my entire life wishing I could be a ballerina?"

Sirius had to laugh at that. "No, I guess not. Come on -- let's go home."

"You know, I have to admit, it was a huge turn-on watching you today."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm." Remus stepped closer and tucked his hand into the crook of Sirius's arm. "Very sensitive. I love it when your soft side comes out. And when you were telling her how they did all the different magic… I wanted to jump you right there, Muggle porn star mustache and all."

"Well, that was the idea," Sirius said smugly. "Should I leave the mustache on?"

"Absolutely not." Remus waved his wand and they were both back to looking like themselves.

"Well, I think I owe you something," Sirius said as they approached their cottage. "And Ted gave me a bottle of buttered rum. If we don't get it in soon, it won't stay hot."

"Just one moment," Remus said, stopping and looking up.

"What?"

"It's starting to snow."

Sirius looked up, wondering how he'd missed the little whirlwind of white flakes coming down at them. "So it is." He set the bottle down on the ground and moved closer to Remus, wrapping his arms around him and cradling his back against his front. Remus squeezed his hands and laid his head on Sirius's shoulder, and Sirius thought maybe the whole ballet idea was a great one after all.


End file.
